I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
