Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize