I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
