and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
