He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Randomize
