it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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