hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
