She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
