remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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