Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
