if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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