Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Randomize
