You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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