Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
