My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
My breasts were aching with rage.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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