One girl and one boy is just not enough.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
