just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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