I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
