just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
