Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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