Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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