your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
