so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
