I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
