I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
