I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
