The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
