i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
The maid of honor just puked.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
