just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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