Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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