I forgot how hot balto sounded
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
