There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
