Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
