I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
