i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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