if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
