i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
