Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
