also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
