Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
