Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
