I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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