life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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