how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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