P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
