Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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