How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
