apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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