Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
babies were throwing up all over the place
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
