I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize