i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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