what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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