Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
