I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize