I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
