A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
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