when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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