So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
