I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
