His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
