idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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